Friends, I have been duped.
I fell for the glossy copy of a reputable magazine’s Free Gift offer, along with its free extra issues and such. The important part is- and always has been- the Free Gift.
Ever since the days of sending in multiple Kix box tops (plus $4.95 shipping and handling) to receive a toy barely worth the cost of postage, I’ve been a fan of the Free Gift. I would send away for the Highlights Magazine colorable poster. The Nickelodeon crazy pen. The Highlander series bumper sticker- whatever- my point is that if it was offered, I’d send away for it.
But this time, it actually did look too good to be true. Probably because I’m no longer an impressionable seven year-old (or rabid teenaged fan- whatever), but the idea of a baby magazine offering a simply lovely full-sized diaper bag made me raise my eyebrow.
There was even drama surrounding the obtaining of such a prize. The form to send in was piled with the return envelope, the Hurry and Order (!) slip, and the informative letter which stated I was “one of a very few” to receive this offer. Out of those four pieces of paper, guess which one got recycled, leaving the others to dwindle atop Mt. Saint CounterPile? That’s right, the only one with my individual Free Gift code.
So I called the magazine and explained my situation. The operator was sympathetic- up to a point. She offered me a discounted magazine rate, but couldn’t just give me a diaper bag without my code.
“It’s a really nice bag.”
My patient and non-germaphobic husband lovingly offered to dumpster dive into the recycling bin that evening. And found the slip. So I excitedly sent it in.
A few short weeks later I was rewarded with…an envelope. An envelope? My prize actually fit in our mailbox? No matter- spatial relations have never been my strong suit.
I found a very pretty paisley bag inside. Now, the picture had shown a diaper bag toting a stack of diapers, a blanket, a sippy cup, and a bear (not included). The tote currently in my palm was large enough to only hold one of my kid’s diapers. Nora, upon seeing it, even exclaimed, “For my Neigh!” Which is the name she gives to a My Little Pony.
I feel a little like Alexander and his Terrible/Horrible ilk. (His brother got a Junior Decoder Ring. I got a little Neigh bag.)
I’d like to say that I’ve learned my lesson…but I know it’ll only be a matter of time before some sweet-talking ad convinces me to Act Now.
After all, everyone needs a fridge calendar magnet.
Image: Keely Flynn
