My toddler Nora is already a pretty cool kid.
Some of it has to do with her Dad- the chillest of the chill- and perhaps even her Mom- who has, on occasion, been known to rock. But a lot of credit has to be given to her hometown of Chicago.
In her short time on this planet (and in the neighborhood of Albany Park), she has been exposed to food, languages, and cultures that are mind-blowing to a small town gal like her mother. She eats chilaquiles and wontons, charms smiles out of the Lebanese baker, and can count to ten in Spanish. (When I was growing up, we had one “Asian” restaurant. It was awesome, but extremely basic. I didn’t have sushi until I was twenty- and felt incredibly cosmopolitan.)
More importantly, she’s being exposed to lifestyles that are not her own. And that’s great.
Today is the Pride Parade, here in Chicago and in towns all over the place. I can tell you from past experience that Pride is a really good time, as long as you’re hydrated and have access to a non-porta potty. Preferably near a rooftop party or choice balcony. And sure, maybe I’d prefer my daughter spent her Sunday afternoons surrounded by folks slightly more clothed…but you’ve gotta admit, the music is killer. (And music education is very important to me.)
And what amazing timing, what with New York giving a thumbs-up to gay marriage! (Talk about Pride- heck, I’m proud of New York.) It’s an excellent step in the right direction. One of many, many, baby steps, but a step nonetheless.
A while back, I had a conversation with an inebriated acquaintance that concerned gay relationships. While he agreed that being gay was fine [his words], I really wouldn’t want Nora to date a woman, would I?
And truly? She’s a baby. I don’t want her dating anyone. But ever since she was two little blue lines on a stick, I’ve had one wish for her. To be happy. Sure, health, wealth, and success are wonderful. But without happiness, what’s the point? Because happiness covers so much ground; contentment with one’s possessions, joy in living, and respect in a solid relationship. Some might even include the word pride.
I wish that for her. I wish that for everyone, in fact.
So whether she decides to open an Ecuadorian restaurant in China, fly a rocketship to the moon, or marry a drummer of either gender, I’ll be happy if she is.
Especially if it’s not the drummer option.
Image: St. Murse
I love this post, Keely. It’s wonderful to be raising our children during a time when so many old ways of thinking are fading away. It really frees us up to do want we want to do as parents: raise fulfilled, joyful kids.
Great post on a very important topic. Having seen the voting on the gay marriage bill in New York State Senate live on TV last week, I felt proud and happy. Proud that reason prevailed and happy that so many people will be able to pursue their dreams. Parents must embrace children for who they are and not stifle them. Love is universal and beautiful.
This is a great post. Ever since I got pregnant, I had the same conversation twice. People who want their kids to grow up to be *exactly* what the parents’ want them to be are missing the point of parenthood! Having a child is bringing a NEW life and personality into the world that should be unique and special. As you said, happy and healthy is all you can ask for.
Thank you for this post Keely! This is SUCH an important parenting subject – and I think we might be the generation that are able to help our children really and truly begin to accept gay and lesbian relationships.
When one of my friends came out to his Mom she said she was sad. As he prepared to berate her she explained that what she was sad about was that face that he would never be able to hold hands and kiss the person he loved with the freedom that she had enjoyed. She said “All you ever want for your children is for them to be happy and free. Being gay will make that harder for you, and that isn’t fair.”
That response has stuck with me forever and still affects the way I approach gender issues with my children today.